HOME EC.

The bleachers bit into my butt. So I shifted again. My friends C our little huddled mass of humanity taking refuge from the notice of the cooler kids C muttered restlessly, too. Assemblies were about clapping for the jocks, hips cocked in their jaunty 501s, and cutting down the pom pom girls with their glossy faces and sexual confidence.

AWhy are there parents here?@ I asked no one in particular.

ACuz we don=t have graduation,@ Vinny answered.

APeople graduate from 8^th grade?@

AYeah,@ Lisa put in, AMy cousin at Laredo had 8^th Grade Graduation last weekend.@

I wondered how they knew to come, the parents who perched here and there on the bleachers, too. If someone had told me, I probably only heard Aaward@ and Aassembly,@ which at my new school in its middle class suburban, well-funded, forward-thinking nationally ranked school district, and its bright young staff of liberal educators, still meant worshiping the athletes

AAwards for what?@ I asked.

ASchool stuff.@ Vinny answered.

AFor each subject,@ Lisa specified. AYou know, math, biology, social studies. The teachers vote on the best student in them.@

I thoughtfully rocked on my skinny butt, the points of each bone alternately digging into the wood-like substance. Awards for school stuff. Something I could do. My opportunity to go up there by the podium, to be less invisible, to be admired maybe. My friends exchanged theories on which academic award they would get. They settled quickly that I wouldn=t win the Algebra award, since Mrs. McKee and I had waged a war of wills from day one: I refused to memorize the exponential tables on the grounds that my calculator could produce the answer as quickly as my brain. Biology was a strong possibility, as I had the top grade there, and everyone knew I wanted to go pre-med. English was a toss-up C no one could guess who Mr. Graham would sanctify or vilify from week to week. The social studies teacher favored underdogs. As they mentally ranked the competition, I secretly groomed the certainty that I would win some sort of overall academic excellence award. Best Student Ever. That kind of thing.

The awards were doled out to the smart kids. Vinny tried to look sorry as they called her name for Biology. I imagined my classmates eyes on me. Maybe I would win an overall excellence award C saved for very last! And then they called my name. Proudly I walked up to receive my award for Best Student in . . . Home-Ec! My humiliation turned the bored applause of the audience into laughter.